Catastrophe 3
by Persiana13
Summary: One-Shot. Sequel to Catastrophe 2. Catman enlists the help of a certain feline fatale to get what he wants; Persiana. However, Catman may end up regretting it later. Suggestions needed badly for Catastrophe 4!


**Cat-astrophe 3**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana._

_AN: Catman goes on again, attempting to seduce the object of his desire. Fortunately, things don't go according to plan. He enlists Catwoman's help.  
_

One Shot

Catman, the deranged, love struck feline villain, was sighing happily as he looked at the photo of Persiana he got from a newspaper. He looked up from the paper, perched on a roof in Gotham, grinning,

"My darling sweet bride, she is calling for me. Persiana is so lonely, so innocent, so much in heat. I have to take advantage of that."  
He stood up, determined,

"I must enlist an ally in this endeavor. One that I can trust and manipulate."

The feline villain's eyes darted in the darkness. He then saw a woman dressed in tight black leather, carrying a whip, and acrobatically jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Catman smiled evilly,

"Purrrfect."

The woman that was running the dark was Selina Kyle, Catwoman. She had just pulled off another heist and was swinging through town. Her goggles drawn over her eyes, she was making good time when Catman appeared out of nowhere, grinning like a Cheshire cat,

"Hello, Catwoman."

The cat burglar rolled her eyes,

"Catman, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be chasing after a certain white-haired kitten?"

Catman looked her over,

"I thought you would be chasing after a rodent vigilante."  
Selina swept underneath him, tripping him and he fell on his face. He rolled over and found a boot on his throat. Catwoman snarled,

"Batman belongs to me! No one else, especially that Amazon!"

Catman tried to ease her off,

"Of course. That's why I came to talk to you."  
He started to smile,

"What if we helped each other, my dear? You help me get Persiana, and I help you get Batman."

Catwoman took one look at him and grabbed him,

"DO IT NOW!"  
**Later, in New York…**

Persiana, the white haired were-lioness, was acrobatically flipping across buildings, on patrol. Since Supergirl was at the Mansion, commanding the troops, Farrah had volunteered to go out and patrol New York. With her was Donna Troy, the heroine Wonder Girl, and one of the lioness' friends.

The Amazon princess flew ahead and smiled,

"You are getting slow, dear sister. I was able to-."  
Persiana flipped onto her friend's shoulders and over her. She tumbled for a little bit and balanced on the precarious ledge with such grace and skill, it was as if Persiana was on solid ground.

Wonder Girl looked and was mesmerized,

"Sister, you astound me sometimes. You truly are graceful."

She playfully added,

"And beautiful."

Farrah folded her arms,

"Donna, don't you have that new guy Speedy to be sleeping with right now?"

Donna coyly remarked,

"I can always fantasize."  
Farrah blinked and shook her head,

"Ew, too much information."

Just then, a familiar voice shouted,

"GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Persiana instantly clenched her fists,

"I swear to God, I'll kill him this time. It was bad enough he followed me to Boston, but to come to New York..."

She screamed,

"YOU STUPID CAT WANNABE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU; NO MEANS NO!"  
Catman was perched on a street lamp, sighing happily,

"My bride calls out to me! She professes her love!"  
Catwoman groaned,

"Why did I agree to do this?"

Persiana then looked at Catwoman and groaned,

"Great, it's a feline dominatrix. Do you get paid by the hour, or by the session?"

The cat burglar was stunned,

"You little bitch! I'm only doing this to get Batman!"  
Farrah smirked,

"Funny, I woulda thought you were doing this to make Catman jealous."

Catwoman clenched her fists, screaming,

"Why would I be jealous of you? You look like a stripper! And the codename; Persiana? That's sounds like a stripper! Face it, you mangy house cat; I'm more woman than you could ever be!"

Farrah rolled her eyes,

"Seriously, Cat_girl_; I'm more cat and woman than you could EVER be."

Selina snarled,

"You honestly think you're competition? I should be asking you how many laps you've danced in!"  
The lioness growled back,

"Not as many as you have. I bet you've been in more laps than a napkin!"

Catman shouted,

"Hey, you're supposed to help me make her my bride, not insult her!"  
Selina scowled in disgust,

"This…house cat?! Seriously, Catman. You'd have better luck with me."

Persiana smirked,

"No wonder Bats would rather sleep with Wonder Woman. She hasn't lowered her standards for men."  
At this, Catwoman roared,

"DIE!"  
Quite literally, a cat-fight broke out. Catman shouted,

"Never fear, I shall rescue you, my bride!"  
He dove in and pulled Catwoman off. This only enraged the feline burglar and she tried to maul him.

Persiana slipped away and joined Wonder Girl. Donna pouted in disappointment,

"You know, it would have been fun to see you show your dominance over him. It was so fun the last time."

Persiana shrugged,

"Hey, if someone else wants to give him the beat down, let 'em."

Catman screamed,

"MY BRIDE, AS SOON AS I AM DONE DISPATCHING THIS WOMAN, I SHALL COME FIND YOU! WE WILL BE MARRIED AND HAVE KITTENS!"

Catwoman shrieked like a she-devil and proceeded to thrash Catman some more. The feline villain shouted,

"PAIN!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD, THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HURTS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S WORTH IT, THOUGH! I'M SAVING MY BRIDE FROM A FOUL WRETCH LIKE YOU!"  
The cat burglar roared, swearing up a storm. Persiana tilted her head,

"Huh, I had no idea you could use a whip like that before."

Wonder Girl nodded,

"Yes, sister, and I had no idea Catwoman knew so much about knots. The way she is bending his arms and legs, you could learn a lot from her."  
A series of loud, sickening cracks was heard. The lioness heroine winced,

"Ow, your neck is not supposed to bend that way."  
Donna asked,

"Do you think we should help him?"

Persiana's ears twitched,

"I hear sirens going off. Something's happening and they may need our help."  
Wonder Girl nodded and the two were off.

Catman shouted,

"RUN, GODDESS! GO GET HELP! THIS FELINE WITCH IS BESTING ME!"  
He then screamed,

"PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, GOD DOES IT HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AGONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHY I WANTED YOUR HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

After a few minutes, Catwoman spat on him,

"Screw you, Catman. You're on your own! I'll get Batman myself!"  
She kicked him in the manhood and flipped away. The feline villain groaned,

"Pain. Oh, the pain."

End of One Shot.


End file.
